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Enjoy our article below on new jersey divorce to help you learn about your divorce and plan accordingly.
Coping With Divorce Anger
By Tracy Achen, Fri Dec 9th
Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healingafter your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rageat your ex-husband. You might be thinking that if it weren't forhim, your life wouldn't be so messed up. These feelings areactually a necessary part of your healing. Acknowledging AngerWouldn't you just love to tell him what a sorry human being heis? How he didn't respect you and treated you like dirt. Well,do It! Take a piece of paper and write down everything that hedid wrong. Release all the anger that has been bottled up. Getit all off your chest. Tell him how he hurt your feelings andhow you suffered to make the marriage work. Don't be surprisedif this letter goes on for pages, just get it all out. Now for the important part.......Do Not Give Him This Letter. Itwould only re-enforce the impact that he had on your life. Burnit or throw it away. Allow yourself to release that anger andresentment. It's over and done with. You've acknowledged thehurt and are now ready to figure out what went wrong and moveon. Gaining Insight Gaining insight into why your marriage failedhelps you to move on to healthier relationships in the future.Start by thinking about what attracted you to him in the firstplace. Maybe he was handsome, strong, or wealthy. What benefitsdid you get from the marriage? Maybe it was security,companionship, or a sense of belonging. These are the thingsthat are important to your core being, and the difficulties inyour marriage probably stemmed from threats to these areas.
Perspective
Knowing what part he played in the problems is easy,but you also need to recognize how you contributed. Owning up toresponsibility is probably the hardest part. Most women grew up with the image of the "White Knight" whorides in and takes charge. The princess falls in love and standsbehind her man. The only problem is that this fairy tale usuallydoesn't have a happy ending because the power of choice isremoved. You are swept through life by circumstances anddecisions of others. If you can own up to your participation in the marriage, youhave gained power. For example, by admitting that you stayed ina bad marriage for economic reasons, you therefore, can chooseto find a good paying job and leave. When your perspective isone of choice, you gain power and control over your life. Admitting that you put up with a bad situation out of choiceallows you now to make decisions to do things differently inyour new life. Once you accept responsibility for your life, becareful to not turn your anger inward. You did the best youcould in your given situation. It's in the past, and you nowhave the power to move forward. Release the hold that anger hasover helps you to regain control over your life again. You nolonger need to feel like a victim, and your self esteem willbegin to rise. About the author:Tracy Achen is the author of "DIVORCE 101: A Woman's Guide toDivorce", and publisher of a website to help women cope withdivorce. At WomansDivorce.com we have one focus - helping womensurvive their and rebuild their lives. For additionalarticles and information on divorce, visit the web site athttp://www.womansdivorce.com
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