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Enjoy our article below on divorce lawyer new york to help you learn about your divorce and plan accordingly.
Children's Discipline
By Ruben Francia, Fri Dec 9th
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline givesdouble messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing toyour children? Children need to know where they stand in theirbehaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve theirdifferences in matters of children's discipline. Since parents leave on a separate house, they oftendiffer in their rules and expectations for their children.People tend to view individual differences in terms of right andwrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are againstme." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce,these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation,each trying to force the other to change and stop beingdifferent. The matter of disciplining children can be the source ofconflict among parents. Each parent has different ideasas to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed theother's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences oftheir dispute were that there was ineffective or no disciplineat all.
To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents shouldresolve the differences according to children's best interest.They can adopt the approach as listed below: 1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what isrealistically expected for your children. These should be basedon the children's age, their temperament, their ability tofollow directions, and the structure of the family. 2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highestpriorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree areimportant to nurture in your children. 3.
Discuss with your former spouse your preferences fordiscipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistencyacross households. 4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency acrosshouseholds, make an agreement with your former spouse thatwhatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will beconsistently using the same when the children are with you. 5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they areworkable. 6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you bothcan live with and stick by it. 7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explainto the children that there are certain rules at mom's house andcertain rules at dad's house. 8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreementsin discipline approaches. Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Getresolve your differences in matters of children's discipline.Support each other. Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved. Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this articleelectronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, freeof charge, as long as the author's information and web link areincluded at the bottom of the article. The web link should beactive when the article is reprinted on a web site or in anemail. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long asthey do not distort or change the content of the article. About the author:Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable parentingguide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced'Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy,happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visithis web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com
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